.life w i t h i n;

WE LOVE YOU SIS!!!

http://www.youtube.com/StarJewel95

first of all, probably my keyboard will draw in tears, but i need to write everything. i know probably u cant hear me, not my voice, not my thoughts. u cant even read, omg :P but i remember when i last saw you.
you were painful, attached to those machines, hardly breathing. when i entered the room i was like 'WTF ARE YOU DOING THERE IDIOT!'. then i started crying. you started laughing instead. yes, for u was easy, u always knew this was going to happen. HOW THE HELL WERENT YOU AFRAID?? no, really, this left me stunned. it was april. god, weeks seemed like minutes. i remember what u said:' goodbye little idiot' with the most big smile i ever seen. then my dad toke me out of the room. i never saw u again. what i need to say is, i forgive you. i was mad at you, after u left, cos u suddely went away, and OMG U HAD THAT STUPID SMILE ON UR STUPID FACE..it made me upset, then i realized u were only trying to cheer me up. like it could be possible.
i HATE that i couldnt stop that fucking cancer. u cant imagine how many times i dreamt of your death, during this time. but like i always said, i was sure u were going to get better, like u always did. this wasnt the first time u needed those machines to breathe, but u always made it. omg i remember that random yell of mine, in da room, in front of ur parents xD i was like: 'ARE U REALLY GOING TO LET IT WIN?? FIGHT BITCH!!!'
well im proud of you, u fighted all the time, and i guess u deserved rest. like i said at the beginning of the video, u did well, good job. u can rest now, ne? n.n
i used ur fave song, omg u were obsessed with this singer xD u cant imagine how hard it was to edit every single second. i stopped like 4 times in 4 minutes :P but i know i owed u this. i owe u everything. u taught me to skate with rollers -epic fails of mine xD omg my ass still cries :PP- but u showed me ur simple life of living too, maybe cos ur life was incredibly fragile.
if u can hear me, come back please.PLEASE COME BACK.
omg, that was stupid. sorry. i know u would get mad like crazy if u heard me yelling this xD hey, do u realize how many dots there are in this description?? ò.ò omg so many dots. u used to whore the wall of my poor room with plenty of colored dots, only cos my parents decided to start all over and paint the house TT3TT the funniest thing is that u asked me to dots-whore ur room at the hospital too xD u were like 'OMG its boring here U3U' u always been crazy. really girl, crazy.